While I had written a testimony about my transition out of Islam to Quranic reform and then at the end to the reluctant acceptance of atheism (I say reluctant because I was disheartened to see everything I believed in was false), I didn’t really focus on what it was like for me as a Muslim. Do you think it is entirely possible to defend pedophilia, rape, unjustified murder, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny and the like and be totally unfeeling about it? The answer is no.
I must say you will get three types of Muslims. Ones who accept all the things mentioned above and do not think it is wrong at all. You will get Muslims (like I was in the past) who without admitting, will inwardly be embarrassed and horrified by these things, but will rush to make excuses and reasons for them. Finally you get Muslims who are so ignorant of their own religion that when they get presented with such evidence, they go into denial, accusing it of being fake, out of context or they turn a blind eye to it and pretend it doesn’t exist.
I was barely sixteen when I converted and I didn’t really get my first taste of what Islam was truly like until I met other ‘sisters’ in my new high school. Since I was fairly new to the religion I wasn’t aware of the extreme limitations upon women and thus dressed in a hijab with short sleeves and pants. Under a lot of peer pressure and spiritual blackmail I eventually transitioned myself to wearing long sleeve shirts, skirts or abaya. They thought I was insulting Islam by what I was wearing at first, but in reality it was simply ignorance. It was one of the first tastes I got on the Islamic community and how they treat converts. They are not very understanding or empathetic, but I didn’t let it bother me.
However I wasn’t really practicing. I understood that Muslims prayed five times a day, but I didn’t think it was a big deal that I didn’t pray. Surely, why would God be angry? He would know in my heart that I loved and believed in him. Sadly, it wasn’t the case. I was told all sorts of horrifying stories of what would happen if one misses their prayers. In fact just being late for your prayer earned you something like one thousand months to burn in hell.
From then on I prayed five times a day. I would get up early in the morning for Fajr, I would even pray at school and stress and become scared if I didn’t. My life was consumed by it. I could no longer focus on anything. Every day was simply a ritual of getting up and anticipating the next prayer as if my whole life depended on it. I was like a robot.
However while things like missing prayers scared the hell out of me, other things that Allah made unlawful didn’t. When I think back on it, the logic didn’t really work, but then again when you are indoctrinated by religion, reasoning and logic is often shut off. My sisters in Islam told me to stop waxing my eyebrows for Allah curses the woman who does this. I scrunched my face at the idea. A blood test when I was thirteen showed that I had higher testosterone levels meaning I would have a little more facial hair than the average woman so waxing was a necessity to me. I really did not want to look like a caveman so I ignored them for the most part.
Then I was told stupid things. One was that it was haram for women to shave because of the use of metal and iron in the razor. Well, why could men use it then? I ignored that too uncaring for the consequences in the afterlife. However fear of missing prayers still kept me devoted to Allah. Another harrowing problem soon presented itself. I wasn’t able to properly exercise because most exercises revealed my figure which was haram.
I couldn’t go running (can’t really anyway because I have asthma), couldn’t go cycling as that showed my figure and above all couldn’t go swimming. I was a healthy athlete, polo water player and squad swimmer before I converted to Islam. So I started to put on weight and a lot of it as well. By January 2011 I was bordering on ninety kilos (now that I have left I am back down to my ideal weight size ). The weight gain started making me depressed, but so was the religion. There weren’t many things I could do.
I could hardly wear makeup and nail polish because they had to be scrubbed off to do wudu and I had started to pick up a paranoid habit in prayer, thinking I had not done ablution properly and had stopped in mid prayer to start all over again. My grades in school started to slip. From earning one of the highest grades in year 10 and certificates of excellence in mathematics and history, my grades in year 11 were quite low. This was because I had stopped reading. I use to love reading, but all the books I loved were full of sex, drugs, alcohol, crime, kufr things. Things I should not read.
Nothing mattered to me more than Islam. It was all I clung on to and to me a lot of things in science were false so I did not allow such things to stimulate my mind. Fat, dumb and depressed at this point I started to study my religion with incredible hunger and found myself sorely disappointed. For one, I properly read the hadith of the marriage between Aisha and Muhammad and was horrified by what I read. I mean, I knew he had married a little girl and I had disgustingly defended this marriage before in the ignorance of biological and psychological development, but reading the ahadith only proved my fears that there was something very wrong here.
Of course when I asked my Muslim friends about it, they just explained that the English translations were not well written and it made grammatical and logical sense in Arabic. I consoled myself with that. Then I started reading ahadith of Muhammad raiding a pagan village and saying that the women and children were of the pagans and allowed to be killed. Inside I was deeply troubled by it and often turned a blind eye to it, but when in debates I was presented with this evidence I used excuses that the women and children were ‘armed’ and were part of the pagan ‘regiments.’
Stoning to death I also defended. It irked me inwardly of course, but any attack on my religion brought me so much pain. I explained that the harsh punishments of Sharia Law prevented crimes and set a precedent so other people would be discouraged from doing it. Later I found I was just lying to myself.
To explain further, inwardly as a Muslim I was disgusted by Muhammad and shocked by the things I read, but outwardly I had to do anything to defend and justify it for the sake of Islam. I suppose another hypocrisy was my unconditional love for Muhammad. Any slights upon his name often reduced me to tears, but I never felt such emotion when I heard Allah or any other prophet insulted. There was clearly something wrong with my priorities.
I really degraded myself as a woman. I accepted the fact that men had superiority over women and that the deficiency in my intelligence was due to my emotions hence my testimony in court needed to be backed up by another. I even made justifications for wife beating.
I don’t really remember how I broke the chain and bondage from Islam. I did come to the realization in 2010 that I wasn’t happy and there was something seriously wrong, but it was another two years before I left completely. I just thought some insight into the mindset would be helpful for those in the same predicament.
2011 was the year I spent questioning Islam and coming to Islamic reform. I also got a job in childcare. It was also the year my grades started to shape up and after January the weight began to drop. By the end of the year I had lost twenty kilos and I hadn’t even exercised, I was just ‘doing things.’ My grades were credits and distinctions in university and I was proud of myself. By 2012 I identified myself as an Islamic reformer and spent my time reading all sorts of books I could find and eventually after much deliberation found that the Quran no longer had a place in my heart. Neither did Allah.
I am just amazed how much my mindset has changed in the last five years. Of course from growing up, but also from leaving the chains of Islam.
I think in the end I had forgotten the most important thing and that was serving humanity. My life as a Muslim was nothing but a hypocritical farce. I spent too much of my time worrying about my individual salvation and gathering converts rather than helping those who were unfortunate. Now I serve a better purpose and that is humanity.
About the Author
Hi sweet ur life shockingly mirrors mine. Im 21 i was born a feminist by heart Allah gave me dis characteristic (unfotunately) i too thought da world abwt Allah until i started delving into the truth abwt Islam. The misogyny reduced me to tears i felt decievd n condemd for eternity! I also once upon a time defended the religion but it was out of ignorance. Glad to find u tho. Finaly i feel like im not crazy. But wher 2 4rm here? dnt lose hope dear dnt want to see my kind our kind without hope.
Darling you are not the only one. The way women are treated in the quran caused me a lot of distress too
I really have a soft corner for you ,becoz most of the information that reached you is entirely false and the bizarre thing is that you never tried to sought some good explanations for “bizarre” text. I hope my response will clr your misconceptions about islam .
Here is my response:
//. Do you think it is entirely possible to defend pedophilia, rape, unjustified murder, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny and the like and be totally unfeeling about it? The answer is no.//
First of all you have to define misogyny ,until u give a coherent definition ,to assert that Islamic text is misogynist is flawed.
// I must say you will get three types of Muslims.\\
actually there are four types of muslims,u didn’t mentioned the fourth type .The fourth type constitutes those muslims who know their txt well and can logically rebut allegations about islam. and those people who write against Islam don’t dare to read their rebuttals .
//Ones who accept all the things mentioned above and do not think it is wrong at all. You will get .//Muslims (like I was in the past) who without admitting, will inwardly be embarrassed and horrified by these things, but will rush to make excuses and reasons for them.//
this is the category of IGNORANT MUSLIMS who are not well versed with Islamic scriptures.
// Finally you get Muslims who are so ignorant of their own religion that when they get presented with such evidence, they go into denial, accusing it of being fake, out of context or they turn a blind eye to it and pretend it doesn’t exist…
well actually people do misquote and u can very well see the stuff on anti Islamic sites. and I will b presenting some evidence in due course.
//I wasn’t aware of the extreme limitations upon women and thus dressed in a hijab with short sleeves and pants. //
a women can wear pants ,short sleeves etc under abaya.And in an Islamic country(we dont have any pure Islamic country unfortunately) where you have segregation of sexes ,a women can wear all aforementioned stuff without abaya when she is among women.
// In fact just being late for your prayer earned you something like one thousand months to burn in hell.//
whoever told ,has misinformed you. There is no such ‘athentic report’ narrating that u will burnt in hell if you are being late for your prayer.So entire criticism false apart.
//My sisters in Islam told me to stop waxing my eyebrows for Allah curses the woman who does this. I scrunched my face at the idea. A blood test when I was thirteen showed that I had higher testosterone levels meaning I would have a little more facial hair than the average woman so waxing was a necessity to me. I really did not want to look like a caveman so I ignored them for the most part.//
A women apart from removing hair from eye brows can remove hair from any other part of the body as per Islamic ruling. Regarding removing hair from eye brows, First of all there is a slight difference of opinion on this issue .Some scholars say it’s not allowed to trim eye brows But other scholars consider shaping eyebrows or trimming them to be permissible. And That’s the right ruling ,They say that the prohibition in hadiths specifically refers to plucking (permanently shaving) eyebrows, and it is prohibited because it is akin to mutilation, and also it is more likely to result in defaming one’s face. As opposed to this, shaping the eyebrows if they are excessively long or thinning them if they are excessively thick, is enhancing Allah’s creation rather than mutilating it. Its analogy, therefore, is to trimming the mustache or cutting hair, and so on, which are not only permissible but may also be recommended.
In light of the above, according to these scholars, it is considered permissible to shape or trim one’s eyebrows if they are excessively long or thick for the purpose of appearing neat and tidy.
But even those scholars who prohibit trimming eye brows ,in some cases like yours ,would permit it ,as you have a justified excuse so u could pluck your eye brows as per Islamic rulings. So whole criticism falls apart.
//Then I was told stupid things. One was that it was haram for women to shave because of the use of metal and iron in the razor. Well, why could men use it then?//
well it’s the most hilarious thing I have ever heard in my live .whoever told you; that person seems to me ‘UTTERLY’ ignorant on this issue, and it’s a misconception that a women cant use razor to shave hair of her private part. So women are allowed to shave hair using razor.
//. I wasn’t able to properly exercise because most exercises revealed my figure which was haram.\\
well, as per Islamic ruling ,as long as na mehram cant see you,u can very well exercise.
\\I couldn’t go running (can’t really anyway because I have asthma), couldn’t go cycling as that showed my figure and above all couldn’t go swimming. //
u could go swimming ,cycling ,running as long as u have maintained proper hijab i.e full body ,except the face and he hands ,are covered .But the preferable thing is that all above mentioned things must be done where no na mahram can see you. But in mixed gathering it’s impossible ,Therefore we,muslims,believe in having separate parks,gyms etc for women.
So sister instead of leaving Islam u shd have strived for an Islamic state where u could get all above facilities.
//I could hardly wear makeup and nail polish because they had to be scrubbed off to do wudu and I had started to pick up a paranoid habit in prayer, thinking I had not done ablution properly and had stopped in mid prayer to start all over again. //
well again u have been misinformed!. In islam ,for example, if I have done wudu and then wore shoes or turban or socks then when my wud breaks I need not remove either of the things mentioned before for doing wudu again!. I am allowed to wipe on them for 24 hours if I am a resident and 72 hours if I am a traveller!.so similarly in your case u could do wudhu by wiping on the area you worn nail polish!.
//My grades in school started to slip. From earning one of the highest grades in year 10 and certificates of excellence in mathematics and history, my grades in year 11 were quite low. This was because I had stopped reading. I use to love reading, but all the books I loved were full of sex, drugs, alcohol, crime, kufr things. Things I should not read..//
huh! :/ another lame excuse! U could have read other very good stuff.Surprisingly when I became practicing muslims my grades went up!.
//Nothing mattered to me more than Islam. It was all I clung on to and to me a lot of things in science were false so I did not allow such things to stimulate my mind.//
Well, I am a student of science and I see no problem in studying science along with my religion. Interestingly I found umpteen things which Quran spoke 1400 years ago,now confirmed by modern science.
//Fat, dumb and depressed at this point I started to study my religion with incredible hunger and found myself sorely disappointed…
when people start studying without some background knowledge ,it’s likely to happen with them what happened with u.
\\For one, I properly read the hadith of the marriage between Aisha and Muhammad and was horrified by what I read. I mean, I knew he had married a little girl and I had disgustingly defended this marriage before in the ignorance of biological and psychological development, but reading the ahadith only proved my fears that there was something very wrong here.
we have many times refuted this old cliché but people who are against islam ,hardly read our responses.
Aysha(as) was an adult,who had gone through puberty before consummation of the marriage. So
here is our response
http://www.letmeturnthetables.com/2008/07/why-prophet-muhammad-married-aisha-when.html
\\ Then I started reading ahadith of Muhammad raiding a pagan village and saying that the women and children were of the pagans and allowed to be killed. Inside I was deeply troubled by it and often turned a blind eye to it, but when in debates I was presented with this evidence I used excuses that the women and children were ‘armed’ and were part of the pagan ‘regiments.’//
Oh really??? I m looking forward to those “ahadith”which say that u can kill women and children in wars????. Conversely ,as per Islamic rulings, no one is allowed to kill women ,old people,and children!.here is the proof
Bukhari Volume 004, Book 052, Hadith Number 257.
Narrated By ‘Abdullah : During some of the Ghazawat of the Prophet a woman was found killed. Allah’s Apostle disapproved the killing of women and children.
Bukhari Volume 004, Book 052, Hadith Number 258.
Narrated By Ibn ‘Umar : During some of the Ghazawat of Allah’s Apostle a woman was found killed, so Allah’s Apostle forbade the killing of women and children.
Maliks Muwatta Book 021, Hadith Number 008.
Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab that a son of Kab ibn Malik (Malik believed that ibn Shihab said it was Abd ar-Rahman ibn Kab) said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, forbade those who fought ibn Abi Huqayq (a treacherous jew from Madina) to kill women and children. He said that one of the men fighting had said, ‘The wife of ibn Abi Huqayq began screaming and I repeatedly raised my sword against her. Then I would remember the prohibition of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, so I would stop. Had it not been for that, we would have been rid of her.’”
for more proofs read the following
http://muslim-responses.com/No_killing_women_and_children_/No_killing_women_children_
//Stoning to death I also defended. It irked me inwardly of course, but any attack on my religion brought me so much pain. I explained that the harsh punishments of Sharia Law prevented crimes and set a precedent so other people would be discouraged from doing it//
I think the apt reason u have mentioned “that the harsh punishments of Sharia Law prevented crimes and set a precedent so other people would be discouraged from doing it.” And even if you implement the punishment of rape, prescribed in Islam, in U.S then the rape rate would decrease drastically.
would expand on “. Later I found I was just lying to myself”??
//To explain further, inwardly as a Muslim I was disgusted by Muhammad and shocked by the things I read, but outwardly I had to do anything to defend and justify it for the sake of Islam. I suppose another hypocrisy was my unconditional love for Muhammad. Any slights upon his name often reduced me to tears, but I never felt such emotion when I heard Allah or any other prophet insulted. There was clearly something wrong with my priorities.//
Nothing is shocking if understood properly along social ,cultural and textual context. Actually u were not Good at research therefore u were running out of arguments.
//I really degraded myself as a woman. I accepted the fact that men had superiority over women //
it’s a misconception res or response:
http://www.letmeturnthetables.com/2008/06/why-are-women-not-equal-to-men-in-islam.html
\\and that the deficiency in my intelligence was due to my emotions//
well deficiency doesn’t mean women are fools okay ,if some says so then his inference is utterly flawed!. Even modern research suggests the same ,that men are slightly intelligent than women.By being intelligent I mean the ability to reason deductively or inductively, think abstractly, use analogies, synthesize information, and apply it to new domains (Gottfredson, 1997; Neisser et al., 1996).here is the link
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/4183166.stm
Some people say that the follow up research has undermined the previous analysis .becoz the following research says that intelligence level is dependent on height.Well, ironically the same paper say”
In two comprehensive meta-analyses, Lynn and Irwing (2004; Irwing & Lynn, 2005) concluded that men were slightly but consistently more intelligent than women. In the first, Lynn and Irwing surveyed 57 studies of sex differences in the general population in performance on Raven’s Standard and Advanced Progressive Matrices, which are considered to be the most reliable test of general intelligence. They concluded that, among adults, men scored about 5 IQ points higher than women. In the second metaanalysis, Irwing and Lynn conducted a similar survey of 22 studies of sex differences among university students and concluded that men scored higher than women by 3.3 to 5.0 IQ points. Although there has been academic debate about Lynn and Irwing’s findings (Blinkhorn, 2005; Irwing & Lynn, 2006; Blinkhorn, 2006), more recent studies seem to support Lynn and Irwing’s conclusion”.( The role of height in the sex difference in intelligence.)
Well first of all ,it is the only paper drawing the conclusion that height has important role to play in intelligence level,so it would be too hasty to draw conclusion from this paper.On the other hand there are numerous previous researches coming to the same conclusion that men are slightly more intelligent than women. Even if we accept that the height plays an important role in intelligence level so, it rather substantiate that men are slightly more intelligent women, than to disprove it. Becoz males are taller and usually stronger than females on average,( Human size evolution: no evolutionary allometric relationship between male and female stature).
So for us muslims we have got no problem becoz if Almight God made man a bit intelligent (in certain fields) than women .On the other hand God almight have made women far more perfect, when it comes to other abilities, than man!( E.Q. (Emotional Intelligence) According to a Research made by Multi-Health Systems, Inc. (MHS) women score better than men on most measures in E.Q. including Empathy, Social Responsibility and Interpersonal Relationships).And we happily accept it. So if I tell a muslim woman that men r a bit intelligent than women so she would say “it’s okay Allah made you so”. She wont say it’s misogyny. Similarly if a muslim woman tell me that women are far more good in other umpteen abilities(like in verbal communication , multitasking etc) than men. So I would say say “subhaan Allah!” .i wont say that she is a misandry. Becoz God made as like that. So it’s not a problem for us but it’s a big problem for an atheist feminist becoz her world view.
//hence my testimony in court needed to be backed up by another.//
again a misconception, testimony has nothing to do with emotions . As far as women ‘s testimony is concerned.
here is our response
http://islamtheultimatejourney.wordpress.com/questions-faq-on-islam-by-zakir-naik/most-common-questions-asked-by-non-muslims/q13-why-are-two-witnesses-who-are-women-equivalent-to-only-one-witness-who-is-a-man/
//I even made justifications for wife beating.//
well u have to define ‘beating ‘first. In islam beating has got a definition .here is our response
do watch all videos esp of shakhy Khalid yasseen
http://islamiliveforit.blogspot.com/2011/04/wife-beating-answer-by-dr-zakir-naik.html
Actually you were ill informed and that’s the reason u have some problems with Islam. I hope my response would clear some of your misconceptions .And May u come back ameen.
Asalaam Alaikoum Peace thank you for replying
You said: I really have a soft corner for you ,becoz most of the information that reached you is entirely false and the bizarre thing is that you never tried to sought some good explanations for “bizarre” text. I hope my response will clr your misconceptions about islam .
Here is my response:
You said: Yes I mentioned in this I was told bizarre things. I am not saying all of it is because of Islamic, but Muslim communities tend to circulate ridiculous things.
//. Do you think it is entirely possible to defend pedophilia, rape, unjustified murder, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny and the like and be totally unfeeling about it? The answer is no.//
First of all you have to define misogyny ,until u give a coherent definition ,to assert that Islamic text is misogynist is flawed.
Look up its definition and all things I explain in blogs.
You said: // I must say you will get three types of Muslims.\\
actually there are four types of muslims,u didn’t mentioned the fourth type .The fourth type constitutes those muslims who know their txt well and can logically rebut allegations about islam. and those people who write against Islam don’t dare to read their rebuttals .
Yes those Muslim who explain rebuttles are all within the three. All three will have explanations, but in regards to ‘type’ react in different ways. I am talking about reaction not knowledge here.
You said://Ones who accept all the things mentioned above and do not think it is wrong at all. You will get .//Muslims (like I was in the past) who without admitting, will inwardly be embarrassed and horrified by these things, but will rush to make excuses and reasons for them.//
this is the category of IGNORANT MUSLIMS who are not well versed with Islamic scriptures.
Yes they are ignorant as I mentioned. They do not know the savage things in their own religion.
// Finally you get Muslims who are so ignorant of their own religion that when they get presented with such evidence, they go into denial, accusing it of being fake, out of context or they turn a blind eye to it and pretend it doesn’t exist…
You said: well actually people do misquote and u can very well see the stuff on anti Islamic sites. and I will b presenting some evidence in due course.
I wonder why Muslims would misquote their own religion?
//I wasn’t aware of the extreme limitations upon women and thus dressed in a hijab with short sleeves and pants. //
You said: a women can wear pants ,short sleeves etc under abaya. And in an Islamic country(we dont have any pure Islamic country unfortunately) where you have segregation of sexes ,a women can wear all aforementioned stuff without abaya when she is among women.
I am well aware of that the point in that passage was I was so ignorant of Islam because I was, but instead of being understanding the Muslim community immediately started being judgemental.
// In fact just being late for your prayer earned you something like one thousand months to burn in hell.//
You said: whoever told ,has misinformed you. There is no such ‘athentic report’ narrating that u will burnt in hell if you are being late for your prayer.So entire criticism false apart.
Again these are the stories circulated by Muslims
//My sisters in Islam told me to stop waxing my eyebrows for Allah curses the woman who does this. I scrunched my face at the idea. A blood test when I was thirteen showed that I had higher testosterone levels meaning I would have a little more facial hair than the average woman so waxing was a necessity to me. I really did not want to look like a caveman so I ignored them for the most part.//
You said: A women apart from removing hair from eye brows can remove hair from any other part of the body as per Islamic ruling. Regarding removing hair from eye brows, First of all there is a slight difference of opinion on this issue .Some scholars say it’s not allowed to trim eye brows But other scholars consider shaping eyebrows or trimming them to be permissible. And That’s the right ruling ,They say that the prohibition in hadiths specifically refers to plucking (permanently shaving) eyebrows, and it is prohibited because it is akin to mutilation, and also it is more likely to result in defaming one’s face. As opposed to this, shaping the eyebrows if they are excessively long or thinning them if they are excessively thick, is enhancing Allah’s creation rather than mutilating it. Its analogy, therefore, is to trimming the mustache or cutting hair, and so on, which are not only permissible but may also be recommended.
In light of the above, according to these scholars, it is considered permissible to shape or trim one’s eyebrows if they are excessively long or thick for the purpose of appearing neat and tidy.
But even those scholars who prohibit trimming eye brows ,in some cases like yours ,would permit it ,as you have a justified excuse so u could pluck your eye brows as per Islamic rulings. So whole criticism falls apart.
One of the reasons why I left Islam is because the whole ruling is stupid really. There shouldn’t even be anything said about eyebrows because it is irrelavent. But Mullahs make so many rulings on them it is ridiculous. It is not really the fact that I cannot remove them, it is the fact that Allah is petty enough to care about them.
//Then I was told stupid things. One was that it was haram for women to shave because of the use of metal and iron in the razor. Well, why could men use it then?//
You said: well it’s the most hilarious thing I have ever heard in my live .whoever told you; that person seems to me ‘UTTERLY’ ignorant on this issue, and it’s a misconception that a women cant use razor to shave hair of her private part. So women are allowed to shave hair using razor.
Yes it is utterly hilarious. You should write a blog to your Muslim brothers and sisters to stop saying stupid things.
//. I wasn’t able to properly exercise because most exercises revealed my figure which was haram.\\
You said: well, as per Islamic ruling ,as long as na mehram cant see you,u can very well exercise.
Nope that is too limited for me. I want to be able to feel the breeze on my face!
You said: \\I couldn’t go running (can’t really anyway because I have asthma), couldn’t go cycling as that showed my figure and above all couldn’t go swimming. //
u could go swimming ,cycling ,running as long as u have maintained proper hijab i.e full body ,except the face and he hands ,are covered .But the preferable thing is that all above mentioned things must be done where no na mahram can see you. But in mixed gathering it’s impossible ,Therefore we,muslims,believe in having separate parks,gyms etc for women.
So sister instead of leaving Islam u shd have strived for an Islamic state where u could get all above facilities.
Yes but there is no Islamic state and I like to go riding with my male friends in proper sport clothing. It is hard to exercise in abayar and hijab not to mentioned the items of clothing are oppressive.
//I could hardly wear makeup and nail polish because they had to be scrubbed off to do wudu and I had started to pick up a paranoid habit in prayer, thinking I had not done ablution properly and had stopped in mid prayer to start all over again. //
You said: well again u have been misinformed!. In islam ,for example, if I have done wudu and then wore shoes or turban or socks then when my wud breaks I need not remove either of the things mentioned before for doing wudu again!. I am allowed to wipe on them for 24 hours if I am a resident and 72 hours if I am a traveller!.so similarly in your case u could do wudhu by wiping on the area you worn nail polish!.
No the Imams in my area and teaching sisters were all in agreement that make up and nail polish were for hypocrites.
//My grades in school started to slip. From earning one of the highest grades in year 10 and certificates of excellence in mathematics and history, my grades in year 11 were quite low. This was because I had stopped reading. I use to love reading, but all the books I loved were full of sex, drugs, alcohol, crime, kufr things. Things I should not read..//
You said: huh! :/ another lame excuse! U could have read other very good stuff.Surprisingly when I became practicing muslims my grades went up!.
I was very religious hence religion made me stupid and fat.
//Nothing mattered to me more than Islam. It was all I clung on to and to me a lot of things in science were false so I did not allow such things to stimulate my mind.//
You said: Well, I am a student of science and I see no problem in studying science along with my religion. Interestingly I found umpteen things which Quran spoke 1400 years ago,now confirmed by modern science.
I find no such miracles and those that claim to have seen such I debate heavily. However again I was following a pretty fundamentalist sect of Salafiya. You Peace, seem to follow something more moderate.
//Fat, dumb and depressed at this point I started to study my religion with incredible hunger and found myself sorely disappointed…
You said:when people start studying without some background knowledge ,it’s likely to happen with them what happened with u.
I was disappointed because of the things I read in ahadith. If you would like to explain it to me message my fb Yeul Siddiqui.
\\For one, I properly read the hadith of the marriage between Aisha and Muhammad and was horrified by what I read. I mean, I knew he had married a little girl and I had disgustingly defended this marriage before in the ignorance of biological and psychological development, but reading the ahadith only proved my fears that there was something very wrong here.
You said: we have many times refuted this old cliché but people who are against islam ,hardly read our responses.
Aysha(as) was an adult,who had gone through puberty before consummation of the marriage. So
here is our response
http://www.letmeturnthetables.com/2008/07/why-prophet-muhammad-married-aisha-when.html
Nope I have already read the many defences of Aisha’s marriage. I’ll write a blog explaining it if you wish.
You said\\ Then I started reading ahadith of Muhammad raiding a pagan village and saying that the women and children were of the pagans and allowed to be killed. Inside I was deeply troubled by it and often turned a blind eye to it, but when in debates I was presented with this evidence I used excuses that the women and children were ‘armed’ and were part of the pagan ‘regiments.’//
Oh really??? I m looking forward to those “ahadith”which say that u can kill women and children in wars????. Conversely ,as per Islamic rulings, no one is allowed to kill women ,old people,and children!.here is the proof
Bukhari Volume 004, Book 052, Hadith Number 257.
Narrated By ‘Abdullah : During some of the Ghazawat of the Prophet a woman was found killed. Allah’s Apostle disapproved the killing of women and children.
Bukhari Volume 004, Book 052, Hadith Number 258.
Narrated By Ibn ‘Umar : During some of the Ghazawat of Allah’s Apostle a woman was found killed, so Allah’s Apostle forbade the killing of women and children.
Maliks Muwatta Book 021, Hadith Number 008.
Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab that a son of Kab ibn Malik (Malik believed that ibn Shihab said it was Abd ar-Rahman ibn Kab) said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, forbade those who fought ibn Abi Huqayq (a treacherous jew from Madina) to kill women and children. He said that one of the men fighting had said, ‘The wife of ibn Abi Huqayq began screaming and I repeatedly raised my sword against her. Then I would remember the prohibition of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, so I would stop. Had it not been for that, we would have been rid of her.’”
for more proofs read the following
http://muslim-responses.com/No_killing_women_and_children_/No_killing_women_children_
Actually there are ahadith in contrast to that, likewise if you wish I will send them to you.
You said//Stoning to death I also defended. It irked me inwardly of course, but any attack on my religion brought me so much pain. I explained that the harsh punishments of Sharia Law prevented crimes and set a precedent so other people would be discouraged from doing it//
I think the apt reason u have mentioned “that the harsh punishments of Sharia Law prevented crimes and set a precedent so other people would be discouraged from doing it.” And even if you implement the punishment of rape, prescribed in Islam, in U.S then the rape rate would decrease drastically.
Islamic countries punish rape victims. We have already debated this. Unfortunately women do not report rape much in either the West or the East.
would expand on “. Later I found I was just lying to myself”??
//To explain further, inwardly as a Muslim I was disgusted by Muhammad and shocked by the things I read, but outwardly I had to do anything to defend and justify it for the sake of Islam. I suppose another hypocrisy was my unconditional love for Muhammad. Any slights upon his name often reduced me to tears, but I never felt such emotion when I heard Allah or any other prophet insulted. There was clearly something wrong with my priorities.//
You said: Nothing is shocking if understood properly along social ,cultural and textual context. Actually u were not Good at research therefore u were running out of arguments.
Yes I was running out of arguments to defend Muhammad. I did a lot of research of reading books, watching lectures and talking to Imams.
You said: //I really degraded myself as a woman. I accepted the fact that men had superiority over women //
it’s a misconception res or response:
http://www.letmeturnthetables.com/2008/06/why-are-women-not-equal-to-men-in-islam.html
Men are not superior to women we have already discussed this
\\and that the deficiency in my intelligence was due to my emotions//
You said: well deficiency doesn’t mean women are fools okay ,if some says so then his inference is utterly flawed!. Even modern research suggests the same ,that men are slightly intelligent than women.By being intelligent I mean the ability to reason deductively or inductively, think abstractly, use analogies, synthesize information, and apply it to new domains (Gottfredson, 1997; Neisser et al., 1996).here is the link
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/4183166.stm
Some people say that the follow up research has undermined the previous analysis .becoz the following research says that intelligence level is dependent on height.Well, ironically the same paper say”
In two comprehensive meta-analyses, Lynn and Irwing (2004; Irwing & Lynn, 2005) concluded that men were slightly but consistently more intelligent than women. In the first, Lynn and Irwing surveyed 57 studies of sex differences in the general population in performance on Raven’s Standard and Advanced Progressive Matrices, which are considered to be the most reliable test of general intelligence. They concluded that, among adults, men scored about 5 IQ points higher than women. In the second metaanalysis, Irwing and Lynn conducted a similar survey of 22 studies of sex differences among university students and concluded that men scored higher than women by 3.3 to 5.0 IQ points. Although there has been academic debate about Lynn and Irwing’s findings (Blinkhorn, 2005; Irwing & Lynn, 2006; Blinkhorn, 2006), more recent studies seem to support Lynn and Irwing’s conclusion”.( The role of height in the sex difference in intelligence.)
Well first of all ,it is the only paper drawing the conclusion that height has important role to play in intelligence level,so it would be too hasty to draw conclusion from this paper.On the other hand there are numerous previous researches coming to the same conclusion that men are slightly more intelligent than women. Even if we accept that the height plays an important role in intelligence level so, it rather substantiate that men are slightly more intelligent women, than to disprove it. Becoz males are taller and usually stronger than females on average,( Human size evolution: no evolutionary allometric relationship between male and female stature).
So for us muslims we have got no problem becoz if Almight God made man a bit intelligent (in certain fields) than women .On the other hand God almight have made women far more perfect, when it comes to other abilities, than man!( E.Q. (Emotional Intelligence) According to a Research made by Multi-Health Systems, Inc. (MHS) women score better than men on most measures in E.Q. including Empathy, Social Responsibility and Interpersonal Relationships).And we happily accept it. So if I tell a muslim woman that men r a bit intelligent than women so she would say “it’s okay Allah made you so”. She wont say it’s misogyny. Similarly if a muslim woman tell me that women are far more good in other umpteen abilities(like in verbal communication , multitasking etc) than men. So I would say say “subhaan Allah!” .i wont say that she is a misandry. Becoz God made as like that. So it’s not a problem for us but it’s a big problem for an atheist feminist becoz her world view.
We already debated this Peace and explained it which resulted in you being banned from the fb comments. IQ does not depend on gender and men had more IQ then women because for a long time women could not be educated.
You said//hence my testimony in court needed to be backed up by another.//
again a misconception, testimony has nothing to do with emotions . As far as women ‘s testimony is concerned.
here is our response
http://islamtheultimatejourney.wordpress.com/questions-faq-on-islam-by-zakir-naik/most-common-questions-asked-by-non-muslims/q13-why-are-two-witnesses-who-are-women-equivalent-to-only-one-witness-who-is-a-man/
Again the people I was following thought differently
You said: //I even made justifications for wife beating.//
well u have to define ‘beating ‘first. In islam beating has got a definition .here is our response
do watch all videos esp of shakhy Khalid yasseen
http://islamiliveforit.blogspot.com/2011/04/wife-beating-answer-by-dr-zakir-naik.html
Zakir Naik is a liar and a terrorist supporter. Khalid Yaseen said shamelessly that in a proper Islamic country it would be good to watch people been executed with blood everywhere and heads rolling down the streets. Wife beating is never acceptable.
You said: Actually you were ill informed and that’s the reason u have some problems with Islam. I hope my response would clear some of your misconceptions .And May u come back ameen.
I was ill informed before yes, but after learning Islam I have no intention of going back.
i have searched bt didnt find yr fb id.coud u txt me on peace mission?
https://www.facebook.com/peace.mission1
i am entirely disappointed by your response ,i was expect an academic one. But i guess u dont have the credentials to articulate the one i expected ..Instead of leaving islam u shd have educated those IGNORANT muslims.It seems bizarre that your whole knowledge of islam is dependent on hearsay.instead of leaving islam you shd have verified the info that had been communicated to u.You have hardly ever read some authentic books on islam.You dont have sound arguments to assert that islam is false and u didnt leave islam on rational basis rather u left islam on the misinformation that has been communicated to u.So instead of leaving islam u shd have consulted authentic sources.In the end i would The information u have on islam is entirely weak and false. All your objections to islam are based on ill information .May u come back ameen
nd thank you for greeting me
wa alikm assalam wr wb
Nope again you ignored the whole post. I have ready plenty of authentic books. You have simply missed the point of the article. The article is not about ‘Islam’ or its faults-that one would be in ‘My testimony’ this is simply about my time being a Muslim and what Muslims said and did. There is a difference.
I left Islam on a rational basis because God is not real and many other things. I do not make long academic responses in rational hub comments. I will respond to your fb shortly for a tete a tete. Also all religions are based on hearsay. Am I to be blamed for what the sheikhs and Imams told me?
//I left Islam on a rational basis because God is not real //
oh really??.well i invite to u have fb discussion on God’s existence.txt me and we will have a fruitful discussion.
am waiting for your txt sister!
I messaged you dear
Go into your messages and check ‘other’
from Yeul Siddiqui
I understamd you situation. It’s easy to get terrified, specially the way some sisters tend to say what’s right and what’s wrong according to Islam. From where I come, these things happen to me regularly and I understand what impact it makes. You also need to keep one thing in mind that people in time have created different sets of islam itself, most comman being Shias and Sunnis. Their believes relating to some topics are different and each equally convincing. Similarly, you might have come across people holding different believes more over simply confusing you.
My suggestion would be to first read and understand what the Quran says. Read the translatoin and understanding the verses really helps. It would help you clear alot of missunderstandings and many of you confusions and questions would be solved. Good Luck!
Thank you for being understanding dear. I am a critic of Islam now, but whole moderate views are nice and all, there is still alot of bulshit and false sayings being circulated on the Muslim community. It is sad really. Converts are not given understanding and support. I think it is a big issue.